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Girl Scout Cookies – Dulce de Leche

March 10, 2009

The Little Brownie Bakers have a new cookie out this year.  It’s Dulce de Leche.  And it sucks.  I read some comments over on this post at Serious Eats and I agree that there’s a problem with the texture.  Every time I try a new product from Little Brownie Bakers I’m disappointed.  I have a No Untried Cookie rule, but I broke it this year with a few boxes of Dulce de Leche Girl Scout Cookies.  I love Haagen Dasz Dulce de Leche.  I love Tres Leches cake.  And the wee Brownies baking away wouldn’t have the temerity to screw up something as established in taste perception as Dulce de Leche.  This cookie should be creamy, full of rich caramel, indulgent and orgasmic.  You know, downright scrumptious, like a leche should be.  It’s not.

I’m warning you to stay away from these experimental cookies.  Go for the old standards: Trefoils, Thin Mints, Samoas, Tagalongs and Do-Si-Dos. If this is your only experience with Dulce de Leche, erase it from your memory banks and try it again for the first time in ice cream formation.  And be transported my friends.

Why am I dissing the Girl Scouts?  First of all, I’m not dissing the Girl Scouts.  I love Girl Scouts.  I was a Girl Scout.  I sold cookies.  And as a former scout, I want to be sold my cookies by an actual live Girl Scout (not their parents).  Cookie selling is a great fundraiser for the organization and a great experience for young girls.  You bond with your troop, bond with your parents, learn how to meet aggressive sales goals and how to pitch a product.  As a reward, you get to win prizes, brag at school and go to camp.  It’s all good.   It’s as a former Girl Scout and believer in all the good they do for the self esteem and development of young women that I implore the bakery to give them terrific cookies to sell.  People are excited to see the Girl Scouts at cookie time because 1) little girls are terrific salespeople and 2) because the cookies are limited-time-only delicious indulgences.  The Girl Scout cookie brand is one part Scout appeal and probably three parts YUMMY.  If you take away the yummy part, the poor Girl Scouts hoofing it to make their quota have to work overtime to sell.  They’d have to sell, sell, sell — and feel the crushing defeat of not making their sales numbers when they could be enjoying childhood — if pent up demand for awesome cookies wasn’t there.

A few more Dulce de Leche flops and they’ll be like those kids trying to sell ugly wrapping paper.  (You know the ones.  Desperate.  Disillusioned.  Wishing they were Girl Scouts.)  Imagine proud Girl Scouts greeted with pity:  “Oh, here comes that Girl Scout trying to sell those dry tasteless hockey pucks.”  People won’t place big orders.  People won’t look forward to seeing them out selling.  People won’t reminisce about how wonderful it was to be a Girl Scout and talk up the organization.  And the future of scouting will be in jeopardy.  I’m not afraid in the short term.  Thin Mints and Samoas can carry Cookie Time for awhile.  But I am concerned.

I’d love to see them get Dulce de Leche right … maybe reintroduce it as Tres Leches and make it cake-like.  The Girl Scouts deserve a delicious cookie in that tradition.

To all the Daisies, Brownies and Girl Scouts who worked so hard this year, you deserve a new cookie as terrific as you are.  I hope you all practiced your talking points and reached your goals and won prizes.  Yes, I’m trying to give away the Dulce de Leches and posting feedback.  But in the circle, we speak the truth and work harder on our cookies next time, don’t we girls?  I’m hoarding the Thin Mints and Samoas and looking forward to seeing y’all come around next year with a product sheet as solid as the sales force.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. marypatanselm permalink
    March 12, 2009 2:23 pm

    I’ve never thought of the kids selling wrapping paper as wannabe Girl Scouts.

    On that note, I was one of the kids selling wrapping paper. Mainly because I told my Mom, “I just don’t have time for Brownies!” But boy did I have time to sell off to my extended family overpriced, cheap wrapping paper that they felt obligated to purchase from me.

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